Counting My Blessings Amongst The Crow’s Feet
March 9th, 2010So yes it is that time of year again, it’s my birthday. But this year I am forty and I am really feeling it. I never pictured myself at forty and it is scary. I shyly look in the mirror and find a grey hair. It’s my first present of the day, how wonderful.
As I make my way down the stairs I am a bit stiff and wonder if leg arthritis is starting to set it. Great I think to myself, this is the age where all the major things in life are going to be shutting down in my body. I’m not close to retiring but I sure am not twenty five any more.
I go through my usual day of getting the kids off to school and then drive down the road to work in a slight drizzle. Great, as I think to myself, a perfect addition to my mood; rain. As I get to my office I think what a great day it is to walk in the rain from my parking spot to the building and why I bothered even doing my hair.
As I get to the office there are some festive balloons in my office surrounded by the proverbial over the hill you are 40 giant balloons that I get to stare at all day. They mean well, but it sure doesn’t add to my mood of feeling over the hill. So I delve into the cake they got me at lunch and think to myself why not, I’ll take the calories I’m over the hill anyway.
As I look at my ringing phone I see it is a birthday call from my best friend Lisa. She probably has the perfect fun filled dig to give me while reminding me she is two years younger. But as I answered I sense that she is upset. I ask her what is wrong but she tries to play it off.
She apologizes profusely and says she does not want to tell me this on my birthday. But then the tears start and she tells me she just got the news that she has breast cancer. As my heart sinks in my stomach I cry with her. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay and I will be there for her. I wish I could hug her through the phone and think to myself how I could be so selfish.
The burden I share with my friend makes me realize how fortunate I am. Sure I feel older but I can look forward to more years where she is doubtful of hers. How could I be so self absorbed and not see all the blessings around me that I have. I was too wrapped up in my own pity. So as I pull up the drive I thank God for the blessings I do have and squeeze my kids hard and thank the man above.