Making my way to the kitchen a feel my body creaking and I ponder if leg arthritis is beginning. Yes this is the beginning of the end. I saw my future next week retiring with my cane because I could no longer walk or hold a job down.

I feel the rain begin to pour as I drop my kids off at school and thank the Lord above for my next present of walking from my parking spot in the rain to ruin my hair. This day is just getting better and better. But it does as I am greeted with a bunch of black balloons in my office. A nice joke but it didn’t help my mood.

As I get to the office there are some festive balloons in my office surrounded by the proverbial over the hill you are 40 giant balloons that I get to stare at all day. They mean well, but it sure doesn’t add to my mood of feeling over the hill. So I delve into the cake they got me at lunch and think to myself why not, I’ll take the calories I’m over the hill anyway.

By the afternoon I am in a basic state of depression and mourning my youth when I see my phone ID spark Lisa’s name as it rings. I pick it up knowing that she will be having fun teasing me since she is after all two years younger than me. But she is not her usual self and the teasing has a bit of sadness to it.

She apologizes profusely and says she does not want to tell me this on my birthday. But then the tears start and she tells me she just got the news that she has breast cancer. As my heart sinks in my stomach I cry with her. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay and I will be there for her. I wish I could hug her through the phone and think to myself how I could be so selfish.

How could I let my thoughts go so far in the negative? I am so blessed to have what I have and how could I dare complain. What is a little wrinkle when I have my health? So as I get home I rush into the house and hug my kids and my husband and realize just how blessed I truly am.

As I make my way down the stairs I am a bit stiff and wonder if leg arthritis is starting to set it. Great I think to myself, this is the age where all the major things in life are going to be shutting down in my body. I’m not close to retiring but I sure am not twenty five any more.

I go through my usual day of getting the kids off to school and then drive down the road to work in a slight drizzle. Great, as I think to myself, a perfect addition to my mood; rain. As I get to my office I think what a great day it is to walk in the rain from my parking spot to the building and why I bothered even doing my hair.

As I get to the office there are some festive balloons in my office surrounded by the proverbial over the hill you are 40 giant balloons that I get to stare at all day. They mean well, but it sure doesn’t add to my mood of feeling over the hill. So I delve into the cake they got me at lunch and think to myself why not, I’ll take the calories I’m over the hill anyway.

As I look at my ringing phone I see it is a birthday call from my best friend Lisa. She probably has the perfect fun filled dig to give me while reminding me she is two years younger. But as I answered I sense that she is upset. I ask her what is wrong but she tries to play it off.

She apologizes profusely and says she does not want to tell me this on my birthday. But then the tears start and she tells me she just got the news that she has breast cancer. As my heart sinks in my stomach I cry with her. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay and I will be there for her. I wish I could hug her through the phone and think to myself how I could be so selfish.

The burden I share with my friend makes me realize how fortunate I am. Sure I feel older but I can look forward to more years where she is doubtful of hers. How could I be so self absorbed and not see all the blessings around me that I have. I was too wrapped up in my own pity. So as I pull up the drive I thank God for the blessings I do have and squeeze my kids hard and thank the man above.